oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
