I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
