Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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