We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
you made out with another girl for some wings
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
