You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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