I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
