So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
