I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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