we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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