I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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