I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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