I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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