So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
