What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have post one night stand depression
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
