It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
