And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
