a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
