Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
