a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
