ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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