On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
