Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
