i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
