You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
