I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There r osticjed everywhere
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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