The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Who wears a wallet chain?!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
