Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
either way he was missing a nipple.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
