Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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