it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
