i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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