Someone shit on the floor
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Randomize
