Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
