just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Everything about him screamed your future.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
