Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Randomize
