He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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