Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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