Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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