Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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