The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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