You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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