Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Even my vagina gasped.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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