How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
