She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
