I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
