I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
