Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
