So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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