I never want to see another naked old woman again.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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