She's JV to your varsity
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
