I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
